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Brad Belt: Music-5pp

I Only Drink When I Drive (comedy)

(Brad Belt)
I Only Drink When I Drive

© 2007 Brad Belt

They say my reflexes are way to slow
And my signals don’t always match where I go
I got play in the wheel and a case of vertigo
Bad brakes and no shocks it’s like a rodeo

When it happened? Can’t tell you the year
The whole world shifted to a higher gear
Now I’m 90 years old and I’ve started drinking beer
My sweetheart’s in town and I need to see her, but

Chorus: I only drink when I drive
My one rule of the road
Is to stay alive
The Edsel starts shaking
When it hits 45
The roads are so narrow
It’s hard to survive
The letters so small
I can’t read the signs
This world’s gone crazy
And it’s left me behind
So I only drink when I drive

State Farm wants to take my Edsel from me
It’s not near as long as it used to be
It’s been hit more times than Mohamed Ali
We’re members of the risk pool, my Edsel and me

Now I know I’m lucky to have made it this far
I’m a hazard for sure when I’m drivin’ my car
When I get hit from behind, I just hope it’s not too hard
Don’t like it when they spill the beer from my jar