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Brad Belt: Music-5pp

I Don't Go Golfin' With My Wife (comedy)

(Brad Belt)
I Don't Go Golfin' With My Wife

© 1998 Brad Belt

Men come from Mars, women from Venus
Ain't no doubt there's differences between us
Women love to talk , men don't like to listen
I figure that's why there's golfin' and fishin'
It goes back in time to when men carried clubs
And went out on a hunt to bring back the grub
It wasn't so much the food they were after
As gettin away from that endless chatter
It's the same now as then, men get to itchin'
To get out of the house and away from the kitchen
To join other men where the air is quiet
And swing their clubs with all of their might
So hear what I say and don't get me wrong
I have a wonderful wife and our love is strong
But there's an ordinance the boys and I condone
The golf course is a NO-WIFE ZONE

Chours: She's a sweetie, yes indeedy
No doubt, the best thing in my life
But, you'd best believe, it is my creed
I don't go golfin' with my wife,
No, I don't go golfin' with my wife.

When my wife became aware that this marriage addendum
Was passed in her absence and without referendum
She was not real pleased, I must confess
And her displeasure was testily expressed
But, me and the boys had taken a vow
We would not give in, no dice, no price, no way, no how
We each stood firm and took our turn
With the dog house and the chill in the bedroom
To my surprise my wife finally gave in
To my need to go golfin' every now and then
She said, "When you go golfin', I go shoppin', It's settled then."
The pact was made, I tried not to grin
It's not chauvinism or a superiority thing
Just the differences between women and men
Now, we go golfin' and the girls go shoppin'
We're swingin' our clubs and, well, they're walkin' and talkin'